On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:

><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
></music>
>
>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>
><music>drumroll</music>
>
>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>
> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
> 01 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>
>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>
> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
> 00 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>
>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>
> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
> 01 votes Linda Gore
> 00 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>it off. Funny how that works.
>
>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>
> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>
> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
> 05 votes Linda Gore
> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
> 00 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>the web-hosting company doing?
>
>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>
> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>
> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
> 03 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>make your poasts disappear as well.
>
>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>
> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>
> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
> 01 votes Respondant
> 00 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>Now, back into your cell!
>
>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>
> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>
>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>
>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>
>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>Usenet."
>
>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>
>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>
>PALMJOB PADDLE
>
> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>
> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
> 00 votes None of the above
>
>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>first confined. Some things don't change.
>
>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>
> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>
> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
> 06 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>despise.
>
>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>
> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>
> 15 votes Tom Potter
> 08 votes Greysky
> 02 votes Neither of the above
>
>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>
>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>
> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>
> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>dimension.
>
>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>
> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>
> 12 votes Steve Chaney
> 11 votes Linda Gore
> 02 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>beating to the contrary..
>
>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>
> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>
> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
> 10 votes Linda Gore
> 02 votes Neither of the above
>
>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>
>TAR & FEATHERS
>
> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>
> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
> 09 votes Honest John
> 07 votes Linda Gore
> 02 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>
>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>
> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>
> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
> 07 votes Hagar
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>
>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>
> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>
> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
> 04 votes John Fields
> 02 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>
>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>
> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>
> 28 votes YES
> 03 votes NO
>
>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>idiocy becomes contageous!
>
>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>
> We hace a tie!
>
> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
> 02 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>
>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>
> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>
> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>years.
>
>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>
> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>
> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
> 01 votes None of the above
>
>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>/twice/ now!
>
>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>
> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>
>HAMMER OF THOR
>
>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>
> 28 votes YES
> 00 votes NO
>
>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>
>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>
> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>
> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
> 07 votes David Tholen
>
>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>crocodile tears?
>
>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>
> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>
> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>
>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>
>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>
> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>
> 18 votes Brad Guth
> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
> 08 votes Linda Gore
>
>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>
>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>
> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>
> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>
>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>very long.
>
>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>valid and counted.
>
>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>
>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>
><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
></music>

--
Bob Officer
COOSN-266-06-01986
Hammer of Thor, Sept 2005

 

This is that little coward too afraid to use it's name and address,
who's only way to get attention is to make a fool of it's self. With an
obsession with goats, and other *******, and writes via remailers, and cross
posts to other perverts to no one's surprise. With extreme jealous ranting
over my documents, possessions, successes, manliness and super Southern
California body. What a pity!
God Bless America, Bill O|||||||O
mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/


"Bob Officer" <bobofficers@127.0.0.7> wrote in message
news:9rr243h62ia2ae9qih6jlojj2hnhseb62k@4ax.com
><nothing of interest>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

 

This is that little coward too afraid to use it's name and address,
who's only way to get attention is to make a fool of it's self. With an
obsession with goats, and other *******, and writes via remailers, and cross
posts to other perverts to no one's surprise. With extreme jealous ranting
over my documents, possessions, successes, manliness and super Southern
California body. What a pity!
God Bless America, Bill O|||||||O
mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/


"Bob Officer" <bobofficers@127.0.0.7> wrote in message
news:9rr243h62ia2ae9qih6jlojj2hnhseb62k@4ax.com
><nothing of interest>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

 

This is that little coward too afraid to use it's name and address,
who's only way to get attention is to make a fool of it's self. With an
obsession with goats, and other *******, and writes via remailers, and cross
posts to other perverts to no one's surprise. With extreme jealous ranting
over my documents, possessions, successes, manliness and super Southern
California body. What a pity!
God Bless America, Bill O|||||||O
mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/


"Bob Officer" <bobofficers@127.0.0.7> wrote in message
news:9rr243h62ia2ae9qih6jlojj2hnhseb62k@4ax.com
><nothing of interest>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

 

This is that little coward too afraid to use it's name and address,
who's only way to get attention is to make a fool of it's self. With an
obsession with goats, and other *******, and writes via remailers, and cross
posts to other perverts to no one's surprise. With extreme jealous ranting
over my documents, possessions, successes, manliness and super Southern
California body. What a pity!
God Bless America, Bill O|||||||O
mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/


"Bob Officer" <bobofficers@127.0.0.7> wrote in message
news:9rr243h62ia2ae9qih6jlojj2hnhseb62k@4ax.com
><nothing of interest>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

 

On this particular day of this month, in the Year Of The Golden Pig, Bob
Officer did state:

> On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:
>
>><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
>></music>
>>
>>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>><music>drumroll</music>
>>
>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>>
>> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
>> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>>
>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
>> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>>
>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
>> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes Linda Gore
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>>it off. Funny how that works.
>>
>>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 05 votes Linda Gore
>> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>>the web-hosting company doing?
>>
>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
>> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
>> 03 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>>make your poasts disappear as well.
>>
>>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>>
>> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 01 votes Respondant
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>>Now, back into your cell!
>>
>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
>> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>>
>>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>>
>>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>>
>>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>>Usenet."
>>
>>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>>
>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>>
>> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>>first confined. Some things don't change.
>>
>>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
>> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
>> 06 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>>despise.
>>
>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>>
>> 15 votes Tom Potter
>> 08 votes Greysky
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>>
>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>>dimension.
>>
>>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>>
>> 12 votes Steve Chaney
>> 11 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>>beating to the contrary..
>>
>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>>
>> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 10 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>>
>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 09 votes Honest John
>> 07 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>>
>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>>
>> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
>> 07 votes Hagar
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>>
>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>>
>> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
>> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
>> 04 votes John Fields
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>>
>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>>idiocy becomes contageous!
>>
>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>
>> We hace a tie!
>>
>> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
>> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>>
>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>>
>> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
>> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>>years.
>>
>>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>>
>> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>>
>> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
>> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>>/twice/ now!
>>
>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>>
>> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
>> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
>> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>>
>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>
>>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>>
>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 07 votes David Tholen
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>>crocodile tears?
>>
>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>>
>> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
>> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>>
>>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>>
>> 18 votes Brad Guth
>> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 08 votes Linda Gore
>>
>>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>>
>>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>>
>>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>>very long.
>>
>>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>>valid and counted.
>>
>>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>>
>>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>>
>><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
>></music>


Can Llewdellen be nominated again for May?



--
In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.

-Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)

 

On this particular day of this month, in the Year Of The Golden Pig, Bob
Officer did state:

> On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:
>
>><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
>></music>
>>
>>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>><music>drumroll</music>
>>
>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>>
>> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
>> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>>
>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
>> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>>
>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
>> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes Linda Gore
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>>it off. Funny how that works.
>>
>>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 05 votes Linda Gore
>> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>>the web-hosting company doing?
>>
>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
>> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
>> 03 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>>make your poasts disappear as well.
>>
>>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>>
>> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 01 votes Respondant
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>>Now, back into your cell!
>>
>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
>> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>>
>>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>>
>>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>>
>>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>>Usenet."
>>
>>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>>
>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>>
>> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>>first confined. Some things don't change.
>>
>>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
>> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
>> 06 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>>despise.
>>
>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>>
>> 15 votes Tom Potter
>> 08 votes Greysky
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>>
>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>>dimension.
>>
>>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>>
>> 12 votes Steve Chaney
>> 11 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>>beating to the contrary..
>>
>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>>
>> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 10 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>>
>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 09 votes Honest John
>> 07 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>>
>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>>
>> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
>> 07 votes Hagar
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>>
>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>>
>> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
>> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
>> 04 votes John Fields
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>>
>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>>idiocy becomes contageous!
>>
>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>
>> We hace a tie!
>>
>> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
>> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>>
>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>>
>> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
>> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>>years.
>>
>>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>>
>> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>>
>> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
>> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>>/twice/ now!
>>
>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>>
>> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
>> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
>> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>>
>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>
>>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>>
>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 07 votes David Tholen
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>>crocodile tears?
>>
>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>>
>> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
>> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>>
>>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>>
>> 18 votes Brad Guth
>> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 08 votes Linda Gore
>>
>>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>>
>>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>>
>>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>>very long.
>>
>>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>>valid and counted.
>>
>>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>>
>>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>>
>><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
>></music>


Can Llewdellen be nominated again for May?



--
In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.

-Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)

 

On this particular day of this month, in the Year Of The Golden Pig, Bob
Officer did state:

> On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:
>
>><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
>></music>
>>
>>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>><music>drumroll</music>
>>
>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>>
>> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
>> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>>
>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
>> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>>
>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
>> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes Linda Gore
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>>it off. Funny how that works.
>>
>>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 05 votes Linda Gore
>> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>>the web-hosting company doing?
>>
>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
>> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
>> 03 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>>make your poasts disappear as well.
>>
>>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>>
>> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 01 votes Respondant
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>>Now, back into your cell!
>>
>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
>> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>>
>>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>>
>>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>>
>>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>>Usenet."
>>
>>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>>
>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>>
>> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>>first confined. Some things don't change.
>>
>>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
>> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
>> 06 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>>despise.
>>
>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>>
>> 15 votes Tom Potter
>> 08 votes Greysky
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>>
>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>>dimension.
>>
>>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>>
>> 12 votes Steve Chaney
>> 11 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>>beating to the contrary..
>>
>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>>
>> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 10 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>>
>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 09 votes Honest John
>> 07 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>>
>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>>
>> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
>> 07 votes Hagar
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>>
>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>>
>> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
>> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
>> 04 votes John Fields
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>>
>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>>idiocy becomes contageous!
>>
>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>
>> We hace a tie!
>>
>> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
>> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>>
>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>>
>> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
>> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>>years.
>>
>>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>>
>> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>>
>> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
>> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>>/twice/ now!
>>
>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>>
>> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
>> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
>> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>>
>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>
>>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>>
>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 07 votes David Tholen
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>>crocodile tears?
>>
>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>>
>> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
>> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>>
>>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>>
>> 18 votes Brad Guth
>> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 08 votes Linda Gore
>>
>>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>>
>>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>>
>>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>>very long.
>>
>>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>>valid and counted.
>>
>>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>>
>>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>>
>><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
>></music>


Can Llewdellen be nominated again for May?



--
In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.

-Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)

 

On this particular day of this month, in the Year Of The Golden Pig, Bob
Officer did state:

> On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:
>
>><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
>></music>
>>
>>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>><music>drumroll</music>
>>
>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>>
>> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
>> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>>
>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
>> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>>
>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
>> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes Linda Gore
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>>it off. Funny how that works.
>>
>>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
>> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 05 votes Linda Gore
>> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>>the web-hosting company doing?
>>
>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
>> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
>> 03 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>>make your poasts disappear as well.
>>
>>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>>
>> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>> 01 votes Respondant
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>>Now, back into your cell!
>>
>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
>> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>>
>>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>>
>>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>>
>>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>>Usenet."
>>
>>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>
>>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>>
>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>>
>> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>>first confined. Some things don't change.
>>
>>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
>> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
>> 06 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>>despise.
>>
>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>>
>> 15 votes Tom Potter
>> 08 votes Greysky
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>>
>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>>dimension.
>>
>>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>>
>> 12 votes Steve Chaney
>> 11 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>>beating to the contrary..
>>
>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>>
>> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>> 10 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>>
>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>
>> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
>> 09 votes Honest John
>> 07 votes Linda Gore
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>>
>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>>
>> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
>> 07 votes Hagar
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>>
>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>>
>> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
>> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
>> 04 votes John Fields
>> 02 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>>
>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>>idiocy becomes contageous!
>>
>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>
>> We hace a tie!
>>
>> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
>> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>>
>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>>
>> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
>> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>>years.
>>
>>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>>
>> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>>
>> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
>> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>>/twice/ now!
>>
>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>>
>> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
>> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
>> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>>
>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>
>>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>>
>> 28 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>>
>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>
>> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>> 07 votes David Tholen
>>
>>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>>crocodile tears?
>>
>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>>
>> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
>> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>
>>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>>
>>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>>
>> 18 votes Brad Guth
>> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 08 votes Linda Gore
>>
>>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>>
>>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>
>> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>>
>>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>>very long.
>>
>>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>>valid and counted.
>>
>>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>>
>>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>>
>><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
>></music>


Can Llewdellen be nominated again for May?



--
In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.

-Margaret Halsey, novelist (1910-1997)

 

On Wed, 09 May 2007 07:06:30 GMT, §qu@re Wheels
<ouzo-uzi@drunken_aim.net> boggled at how lame the Kooks are these
days, then wrote:

>On this particular day of this month, in the Year Of The Golden Pig, Bob
>Officer did state:
>
>> On Wed, 9 May 2007 06:28:15 +0000 (UTC), in alt.usenet.kooks,
>> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@caballista.org> wrote:
>>
>>><music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
>>></music>
>>>
>>>The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2007 Usenet Kook
>>>Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>>
>>><music>drumroll</music>
>>>
>>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>>
>>> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
>>>
>>> 18 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>>> 08 votes L.W.(Bill) ------ II
>>> 05 votes gb6724@yahoo.com
>>> 01 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Commander! Your group has won the award, your chaplain
>>>has won the award, now you, after several close calls, have also finally
>>>won the award. You hace fully arrived as a kook!
>>>
>>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>>
>>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>>
>>> 20 votes Gerald C Newton
>>> 05 votes Alt.Astronomy Saucerheads
>>> 04 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>>> 03 votes "newschool" of soc.men
>>> 00 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Gerry! You thoroughly stomped the opposition. Pleace to
>>>inform us when you realize that complaining to the domain name registrar is
>>>a completely ineffective method of netkkkopping and that kookologists don't
>>>conspire on real estate message boards that archive USENET poasts.
>>>
>>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>>
>>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>>
>>> 19 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>>> 07 votes Steve "BowTie" Young
>>> 05 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>>> 02 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>> 01 votes Linda Gore
>>> 00 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, again, G-dolf! You conducted the most public and thorough
>>>campaign RL campaign against a web site owner and a news service provider
>>>since Chuck Lysaght, against some of the very same targets. Do you know
>>>what happened to Chuckles? The police visited him and told him to knock
>>>it off. Funny how that works.
>>>
>>>LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>>
>>> 19 votes Gerald C Newton
>>> 10 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>>> 05 votes Linda Gore
>>> 01 votes Salvador Astucia
>>> 00 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations a third time, Gerry Neutron. Your meltdown was one of the
>>>silliest things on AUK in a long time. By the way, how is your stock in
>>>the web-hosting company doing?
>>>
>>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>>
>>> The winner is...RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>>
>>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>>> 07 votes Jerry Howe, a.k.a. "Puppy Wizard"
>>> 05 votes Dirk Bruere
>>> 03 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Margot Lane! A plurality of the voters wish that your
>>>companion Lamont's ability to cloud men's minds included the ability to
>>>make your poasts disappear as well.
>>>
>>>JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ---- PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...PROFESSEUR VON TWOSTEPS!
>>>
>>> 18 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>>> 13 votes MassiveProng, a.k.a. "NunYa Bidness"
>>> 01 votes Respondant
>>> 00 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Poofy! Your one-month release from the Galactic Killfile
>>>showed that the voters of AUK think that you're just as pathetic as ever.
>>>Now, back into your cell!
>>>
>>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>>
>>> The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>>
>>> 28 votes Gerald C. Newton
>>> 02 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk
>>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations a fourth time, G-dolf! If you'd swallowed Sean's hook any
>>>harder, you'd have had to call a proctologist to pull the lure out of you.
>>>
>>>Don't leave yet, Gerald. You won a fifth award this month, the...
>>>
>>>EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
>>>
>>>"A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks on
>>>Usenet."
>>>
>>>The winner is...GERALD C. NEWTON OF ALT.CULTURE.ALASKA!
>>>
>>>This was voted on by acclamation earlier in April and is already on Kookle,
>>>but I wanted to present the award to you while you were already receiving
>>>your other prizes. Now, get the Hell off my stage, stalker!
>>>
>>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>>
>>> The winner is...PORCHMONKEY4LIFE!
>>>
>>> 14 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>> 11 votes Professeur Von TwoSteps
>>> 04 votes Crash Street Kidd
>>> 00 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Good work, MonkeyBoi! You used your release from the Galactic Killfile to
>>>prove that you are still just as big a spankard as you were when you were
>>>first confined. Some things don't change.
>>>
>>>TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>>
>>> 17 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston
>>> 10 votes Alex "Dink" Cain
>>> 06 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Lamont! Your ability to cloud men's minds couldn't hide
>>>how much you begged for the attention of the kookologists you claim you
>>>despise.
>>>
>>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...TOM POTTER!
>>>
>>> 15 votes Tom Potter
>>> 08 votes Greysky
>>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Good work, Tom! You really are shaping up to be quite the mad scientist on
>>>USENET. Fifty quatloos says Nightbat will be inviting you to be part of
>>>the Elite Space Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy by Labor Day.
>>>
>>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>>
>>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>>
>>> 20 votes Barbara Schwarz
>>> 10 votes Rhonda Lea Kirk & Michael "miguel" Cranston
>>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Babs! Your crusade for THE TRVTH has been recognized.
>>>Pity it won't make the documents you seek magically appear in /this/
>>>dimension.
>>>
>>>GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...STEVE CHANEY!
>>>
>>> 12 votes Steve Chaney
>>> 11 votes Linda Gore
>>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Wonderbra! Just because the kookologists are now poking
>>>your longtime adversary on soc.singles with all the sharp sticks at their
>>>disposal doesn't mean that you've won your fight with him, all your chest-
>>>beating to the contrary..
>>>
>>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>>
>>> The winner is...BOZO DE NIRO OF ALT.COMEDY.STANDUP!
>>>
>>> 15 votes Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
>>> 10 votes Linda Gore
>>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>What can I say to someone whose usernym is one of the better self-spanks on
>>>USENET? Oh, yes, good work continuing to uphold the tradition of your
>>>froup, which has had only two regulars win AUK Kook Awards, both of whom--
>>>you and Jason "JJayBoyd" Plawner--won the Special Ops Cody. One would
>>>think that a group of people who should be skilled at dealing with hecklers
>>>wouldn't be so lame. Keep it up and alt.comedy.standup will earn the
>>>reputation of having the worst flame warriors on USENET.
>>>
>>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>>
>>> The winner is...BARBARA SCHWARZ!
>>>
>>> 14 votes Barbara Schwarz
>>> 09 votes Honest John
>>> 07 votes Linda Gore
>>> 02 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations again, Babs! It's not just the regulars of ARS who want
>>>you run out of USENET on a rail. Now, back into the Galactic Killfile with
>>>you until you do something /acutely/ Bobo-worthy, like be deported.
>>>
>>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...ROBERT "MOP JOCKEY" WOLFE!
>>>
>>> 18 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe
>>> 07 votes Hagar
>>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, UNIXD0RK! All of your poast-humping and ko0k-slurping
>>>have really managed to stink the joint up. Your discipline is not to be
>>>tied up with two bisexual girls, but to join with Vito Kuhn to clean up
>>>Fluffy's Litter Box. Here, have a shovel.
>>>
>>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>>
>>> The winner is...MCP OF SOC.MEN!
>>>
>>> 13 votes MCP of soc.men
>>> 07 votes Johnny "Top Cop" Wizard
>>> 04 votes John Fields
>>> 02 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Piggy! How many words does it take to say "OINK"?
>>>
>>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>>
>>> The winner is...PorchMonkey4Life
>>>
>>> 28 votes YES
>>> 03 votes NO
>>>
>>>Congratulations, MonkeyBoi! When you beat both Chuck Lysaght and Richard
>>>"T3H ST00P1D" Bullis for Office of Village Idiot, you showed that you were
>>>among the most moronic kooks ever to arrive in AUK--by magic carpet, no
>>>less. Now, cretin, back into the Galactic Killfile with you, before your
>>>idiocy becomes contageous!
>>>
>>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>>
>>> We hace a tie!
>>>
>>> 14 votes Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
>>> 14 votes Sylvia "PSYLVIA" Sullivan
>>> 02 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, sockpuppeteers! Your efforts at trying to hide
>>>yourselves, however transparently, have finally been recognized--PSYLVIA
>>>for her morphing, and Howdy for using an array of self-promoting identities
>>>to post about himself both on USENET and on guestbooks and comment pages.
>>>
>>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>>
>>> The winner is...STEVE "BOWTIE" YOUNG, TRAINED BY LIONEL!
>>>
>>> 16 votes Steve "BowTie" Young, trained by Lionel
>>> 12 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung, trained by Flying Rat
>>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Lionel! You finally got recognized for having a fanboi
>>>who has been fr0gging you since 2004, if not earlier, and who has
>>>faithfully followed you around and projected his misbehavior onto you for
>>>years.
>>>
>>>EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY, EASTER SUNDAY 2007
>>>
>>> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
>>>
>>> 15 votes Dr. Andrew B Chung
>>> 10 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>>> 07 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>> 01 votes None of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Double-Doctor! I suppose your idea of witnessing on
>>>Christianity's holiest day is to melt down on USENET. You've done it
>>>/twice/ now!
>>>
>>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>>
>>> The winners are...SEAN MONAGHAN AND CUJO DE SOCKPUPPET!
>>>
>>> 27 votes Fake Caballista/Alcatroll LART,
>>> Sean Monaghan and Cujo de Sockpuppet
>>> 05 votes Fake legal complaint to Google, Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Sean and Cujo! You hace much trolling grateness!!!1!!!
>>>
>>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>>
>>>The winner is...Wally Anglesea
>>>
>>> 28 votes YES
>>> 00 votes NO
>>>
>>>It's unanimous! All hail Wally!!!1!!!
>>>
>>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>>
>>> The winner is...MICHAEL "MIGUEL" CRANSTON!
>>>
>>> 12 votes Michael "Miguel" Cranston
>>> 11 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
>>> 07 votes David Tholen
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Lamont! You managed to squeak out a victory over one of
>>>the biggest whiner about the evil coffee boys of AUK with your whining.
>>>Now, are you going to tell us (TINU) that you were really shedding
>>>crocodile tears?
>>>
>>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>>
>>> The winner is...VITO KUHN, A.K.A. "FRITO KUHNTROLL"
>>>
>>> 14 votes Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
>>> 12 votes Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
>>> 06 votes PorchMonkey4Life
>>>
>>>Congratuations, Frito! You managed to win this office over two of the most
>>>persistent campaigners to annoy AUK with their st00pidity in several years.
>>>Now, join Mop Jockey in cleaning Fluffy's Litter Box. Catch the shovel!
>>>
>>>KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>>
>>> The winner is...BRAD GUTH!
>>>
>>> 18 votes Brad Guth
>>> 08 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>>> 08 votes Linda Gore
>>>
>>>Congratulations, Guthball! Your induction into the elite Earth and Spaced-
>>>out Science Officer Corps of alt.astronomy helped secure you this office.
>>>Pleace to amuse the coffee boys with your astonishing misinformation.
>>>
>>>MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>>
>>> The winners are...MIKE "MIGUEL" CRANSTON AND RHONDA LEA KIRK!
>>>
>>> 15 votes Mike "Miguel" Cranston and Rhonda Lea Kirk
>>> 14 votes news.groups.proposals
>>>
>>>Nice work, Lamont and Margot! You managed to beat out, however narrowly, a
>>>group that has occupied this office under two different names, so notorious
>>>has their circle-jerking been. May your efforts, which you see as the good
>>>fight, but which others see as the work of partners in crime, keep you
>>>together in the minds of AUK for as long as you deserve, which shouldn't be
>>>very long.
>>>
>>>This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2007 Usenet
>>>Kook Awards. Forty-eight people submitted forty-eight ballots. Three
>>>ballots were from notorious disenfranchised net.kooks and were discarded.
>>>Of those, one was a fr0ggery and one was for a candidate not on the ballot
>>>for a self-created award. A fourth was from someone eligible to vote, but
>>>for a candidate not on the ballot. Fluffy was pleased with the shredded
>>>paper in his litter box. Consequently, forty-four ballots were deemed
>>>valid and counted.
>>>
>>>See you all later this month, when, with any luck at all, the first round
>>>of voting for the Kook Tarot Deck will take place. Until then, enjoy and
>>>all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
>>>
>>>And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>>>Gerald Newton of alt.culture,alaska!
>>>
>>><music>"Theme to 'Northern Exposure'"
>>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoM6IM1w7Hg
>>></music>
>
>
>Can Llewdellen be nominated again for May?

Of course!

--
W "Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them."
. | ,. w ,
\|/ \|/ Perna condita delenda est
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