Rich Hampel

Temperature and how people react.

60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New
England sunbathe on deck.

50° F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant
gardens or go put the top down and go jeeping.

40° F: Italian & English cars won't start. People in New England drive
with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets
thicker.

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt and go jeepin'.

15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. (I think this is
TRUE) People in New England have the last cookout on deck before it
gets cold.

0° F: All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New
England are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out
their winter coats and go to the Jeep dealership to look at a new Jeep.

40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New
England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders
get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs and wish they had
jeeps.

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale). People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.

SPRING IS ON IT"S WAY ~~~~~o|||||||o ~~~~~