Winter Jeeping in New England
Temperature and how people react. 60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe on deck. 50° F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens or go put the top down and go jeeping. 40° F: Italian & English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down. 32° F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker. 20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt and go jeepin'. 15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. (I think this is TRUE) People in New England have the last cookout on deck before it gets cold. 0° F: All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows. 10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door. 25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats and go to the Jeep dealership to look at a new Jeep. 40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors. 100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs and wish they had jeeps. 460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?" 500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series. SPRING IS ON IT"S WAY ~~~~~o|||||||o ~~~~~ |
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