Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

only what I managed to squeeze from my shirt, hair, beard, socks...
my garage floor is awash with 10-30. I didn't really plan for nearly 15 qts
to pour out all over me, I pulled the plug, and watched the 6 qt pan fill,
then start overflowing, with nothing to catch the remainder of this virtual
cornucopia of oil. There I was, thumb in the hole, trying to kick a bucket
over closer, oil running down my creeper, just a generally nasty mess.

seals are still not dripping, but it is hard to tell, since there is a
rather nice coat on everything.


"Jeff Strickland" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:vodqqd3p4f47ef@corp.supernews.com...
> It's a genetic trait that all women share.
>
> Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?
>
>
>
>
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> > My day in a nutshell...
> >
> > the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> > say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
> phone
> > at home)
> >
> > "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
> and
> > this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >
> > Me: "aye?!"
> >
> > "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> > sprinkler on it"
> >
> > Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
> have
> > no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad
idea
> > in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> > instruments?)
> >
> > "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> needed
> > oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> > way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light
went
> > off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> > anything. Can you come help me?"
> >
> > Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >
> > Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
> sand
> > boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
> did
> > she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil
pan
> > is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said
she
> > put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> > sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> > everything was completely coated.
> >
> > I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going
to
> > need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
> >
> > the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
miles
> > soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
> the
> > ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
> mechanical
> > debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument
oil
> > pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
> well,
> > more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> > separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
> in
> > the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> the
> > air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> > contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the
"nice
> > guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running,
spewing
> > the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check
and
> > add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not
even
> > going to try to explain that to her.)
> >
> > Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> > motor up.
> > Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >
> > Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
> cause
> > complete mechanical retardation.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

only what I managed to squeeze from my shirt, hair, beard, socks...
my garage floor is awash with 10-30. I didn't really plan for nearly 15 qts
to pour out all over me, I pulled the plug, and watched the 6 qt pan fill,
then start overflowing, with nothing to catch the remainder of this virtual
cornucopia of oil. There I was, thumb in the hole, trying to kick a bucket
over closer, oil running down my creeper, just a generally nasty mess.

seals are still not dripping, but it is hard to tell, since there is a
rather nice coat on everything.


"Jeff Strickland" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:vodqqd3p4f47ef@corp.supernews.com...
> It's a genetic trait that all women share.
>
> Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?
>
>
>
>
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> > My day in a nutshell...
> >
> > the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> > say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
> phone
> > at home)
> >
> > "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
> and
> > this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >
> > Me: "aye?!"
> >
> > "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> > sprinkler on it"
> >
> > Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
> have
> > no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad
idea
> > in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> > instruments?)
> >
> > "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> needed
> > oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> > way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light
went
> > off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> > anything. Can you come help me?"
> >
> > Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >
> > Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
> sand
> > boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
> did
> > she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil
pan
> > is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said
she
> > put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> > sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> > everything was completely coated.
> >
> > I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going
to
> > need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
> >
> > the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
miles
> > soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
> the
> > ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
> mechanical
> > debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument
oil
> > pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
> well,
> > more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> > separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
> in
> > the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> the
> > air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> > contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the
"nice
> > guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running,
spewing
> > the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check
and
> > add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not
even
> > going to try to explain that to her.)
> >
> > Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> > motor up.
> > Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >
> > Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
> cause
> > complete mechanical retardation.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

only what I managed to squeeze from my shirt, hair, beard, socks...
my garage floor is awash with 10-30. I didn't really plan for nearly 15 qts
to pour out all over me, I pulled the plug, and watched the 6 qt pan fill,
then start overflowing, with nothing to catch the remainder of this virtual
cornucopia of oil. There I was, thumb in the hole, trying to kick a bucket
over closer, oil running down my creeper, just a generally nasty mess.

seals are still not dripping, but it is hard to tell, since there is a
rather nice coat on everything.


"Jeff Strickland" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:vodqqd3p4f47ef@corp.supernews.com...
> It's a genetic trait that all women share.
>
> Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?
>
>
>
>
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> > My day in a nutshell...
> >
> > the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> > say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
> phone
> > at home)
> >
> > "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
> and
> > this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >
> > Me: "aye?!"
> >
> > "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> > sprinkler on it"
> >
> > Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
> have
> > no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad
idea
> > in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> > instruments?)
> >
> > "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> needed
> > oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> > way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light
went
> > off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> > anything. Can you come help me?"
> >
> > Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >
> > Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
> sand
> > boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
> did
> > she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil
pan
> > is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said
she
> > put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> > sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> > everything was completely coated.
> >
> > I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going
to
> > need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
> >
> > the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
miles
> > soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
> the
> > ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
> mechanical
> > debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument
oil
> > pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
> well,
> > more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> > separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
> in
> > the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> the
> > air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> > contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the
"nice
> > guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running,
spewing
> > the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check
and
> > add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not
even
> > going to try to explain that to her.)
> >
> > Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> > motor up.
> > Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >
> > Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
> cause
> > complete mechanical retardation.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

I used to get mad, I was sure no one could be that completely daft... But
now it's become a bit of entertainment, you never know what is going to
happen next. I enjoyed the day we received a notice in the post, raising the
rate for her emergency tow insurance. Not that I liked paying more, I just
wondered what took them so long!


"c" <c@me.org> wrote in message
news:s2Chb.39234$832.10479@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> >> My day in a nutshell...
> >>
> >> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye"
> >> I say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer
> >> the phone at home)
> >>
> >> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car
> >> wash and this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >>
> >> Me: "aye?!"
> >>
> >> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> >> sprinkler on it"
> >>
> >> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about,
> >> I have no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not
> >> be a bad idea in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any
> >> sprinklers on your instruments?)
> >>
> >> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> >> needed oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a
> >> watering tin in a way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of
> >> change before the light went off. then it started smoking really bad
> >> and stopped, now it won't do anything. Can you come help me?"
> >>
> >> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >>
> >> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as
> >> a sand boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to
> >> myself just how did she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?!
> >> No holes in block, oil pan is in one piece, and plug is in it. What
> >> could she have done? She said she put the oil the plug marked
> >> "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she sprayed a few bottles
> >> of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure everything was
> >> completely coated.
> >>
> >> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was
> >> going to need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this
> >> one.
> >>
> >> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
> >> miles soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping
> >> about liking the ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to
> >> solve the newest mechanical debacle I found the "black thing" was a
> >> rubber boot for the instrument oil pressure sender taking flight
> >> from the wire. The connector was broken, well, more like torn off,
> >> from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a separate sensor)
> >> and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in the
> >> motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> >> the air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the
> >> whole contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was
> >> from the "nice guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the
> >> engine running, spewing the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered
> >> the manual said to check and add oil with the engine running in park
> >> (yes, I know... but I am not even going to try to explain that to
> >> her.)
> >>
> >> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked
> >> the motor up.
> >> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >>
> >> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2
> >> bubbles cause complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
> I know this isn't funny, but yet it's funny. Hopefully the engine is OK,
and
> you should go slap the nice guy at the parts store. I would let your wife
> check my oil before I would let some of the auto parts counter workers
check
> my oil.
>
> Chris
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

I used to get mad, I was sure no one could be that completely daft... But
now it's become a bit of entertainment, you never know what is going to
happen next. I enjoyed the day we received a notice in the post, raising the
rate for her emergency tow insurance. Not that I liked paying more, I just
wondered what took them so long!


"c" <c@me.org> wrote in message
news:s2Chb.39234$832.10479@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> >> My day in a nutshell...
> >>
> >> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye"
> >> I say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer
> >> the phone at home)
> >>
> >> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car
> >> wash and this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >>
> >> Me: "aye?!"
> >>
> >> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> >> sprinkler on it"
> >>
> >> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about,
> >> I have no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not
> >> be a bad idea in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any
> >> sprinklers on your instruments?)
> >>
> >> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> >> needed oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a
> >> watering tin in a way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of
> >> change before the light went off. then it started smoking really bad
> >> and stopped, now it won't do anything. Can you come help me?"
> >>
> >> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >>
> >> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as
> >> a sand boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to
> >> myself just how did she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?!
> >> No holes in block, oil pan is in one piece, and plug is in it. What
> >> could she have done? She said she put the oil the plug marked
> >> "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she sprayed a few bottles
> >> of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure everything was
> >> completely coated.
> >>
> >> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was
> >> going to need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this
> >> one.
> >>
> >> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
> >> miles soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping
> >> about liking the ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to
> >> solve the newest mechanical debacle I found the "black thing" was a
> >> rubber boot for the instrument oil pressure sender taking flight
> >> from the wire. The connector was broken, well, more like torn off,
> >> from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a separate sensor)
> >> and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in the
> >> motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> >> the air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the
> >> whole contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was
> >> from the "nice guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the
> >> engine running, spewing the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered
> >> the manual said to check and add oil with the engine running in park
> >> (yes, I know... but I am not even going to try to explain that to
> >> her.)
> >>
> >> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked
> >> the motor up.
> >> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >>
> >> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2
> >> bubbles cause complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
> I know this isn't funny, but yet it's funny. Hopefully the engine is OK,
and
> you should go slap the nice guy at the parts store. I would let your wife
> check my oil before I would let some of the auto parts counter workers
check
> my oil.
>
> Chris
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

I used to get mad, I was sure no one could be that completely daft... But
now it's become a bit of entertainment, you never know what is going to
happen next. I enjoyed the day we received a notice in the post, raising the
rate for her emergency tow insurance. Not that I liked paying more, I just
wondered what took them so long!


"c" <c@me.org> wrote in message
news:s2Chb.39234$832.10479@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> >> My day in a nutshell...
> >>
> >> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye"
> >> I say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer
> >> the phone at home)
> >>
> >> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car
> >> wash and this black thing flew off when I washed it."
> >>
> >> Me: "aye?!"
> >>
> >> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> >> sprinkler on it"
> >>
> >> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about,
> >> I have no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not
> >> be a bad idea in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any
> >> sprinklers on your instruments?)
> >>
> >> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
> >> needed oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a
> >> watering tin in a way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of
> >> change before the light went off. then it started smoking really bad
> >> and stopped, now it won't do anything. Can you come help me?"
> >>
> >> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
> >>
> >> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as
> >> a sand boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to
> >> myself just how did she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?!
> >> No holes in block, oil pan is in one piece, and plug is in it. What
> >> could she have done? She said she put the oil the plug marked
> >> "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she sprayed a few bottles
> >> of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure everything was
> >> completely coated.
> >>
> >> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was
> >> going to need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this
> >> one.
> >>
> >> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
> >> miles soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping
> >> about liking the ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to
> >> solve the newest mechanical debacle I found the "black thing" was a
> >> rubber boot for the instrument oil pressure sender taking flight
> >> from the wire. The connector was broken, well, more like torn off,
> >> from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a separate sensor)
> >> and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in the
> >> motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
> >> the air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the
> >> whole contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was
> >> from the "nice guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the
> >> engine running, spewing the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered
> >> the manual said to check and add oil with the engine running in park
> >> (yes, I know... but I am not even going to try to explain that to
> >> her.)
> >>
> >> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked
> >> the motor up.
> >> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
> >>
> >> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2
> >> bubbles cause complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
> I know this isn't funny, but yet it's funny. Hopefully the engine is OK,
and
> you should go slap the nice guy at the parts store. I would let your wife
> check my oil before I would let some of the auto parts counter workers
check
> my oil.
>
> Chris
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

ROTFL!!! No wonder she's an ex.


On Fri, 10 Oct 2003 17:04:45 GMT, Lon Stowell <LonDot.Stowell@ComcastPeriod.Net>
wrote:
>> Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]
>>
>> 1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
>> manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
>> *over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
>> in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
>> differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
>> holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.
>>
>> 2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
>> off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
>> To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
>> and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
>> two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
>> into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
>> friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
>> do you have under the hood of that thing..."
>>
>> 3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
>> turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
>> are being fixed. Get call at work:
>>
>> Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.
>>
>> Me: What were you doing this time?
>>
>> Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
>> show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.
>>
>> Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.
>>
>> Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
>> doesn't run too evenly.
>>
>> Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]
>>
>> Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
>> a piston before it blew the rod.
>>
>> Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
>> Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

ROTFL!!! No wonder she's an ex.


On Fri, 10 Oct 2003 17:04:45 GMT, Lon Stowell <LonDot.Stowell@ComcastPeriod.Net>
wrote:
>> Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]
>>
>> 1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
>> manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
>> *over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
>> in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
>> differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
>> holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.
>>
>> 2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
>> off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
>> To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
>> and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
>> two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
>> into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
>> friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
>> do you have under the hood of that thing..."
>>
>> 3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
>> turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
>> are being fixed. Get call at work:
>>
>> Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.
>>
>> Me: What were you doing this time?
>>
>> Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
>> show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.
>>
>> Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.
>>
>> Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
>> doesn't run too evenly.
>>
>> Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]
>>
>> Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
>> a piston before it blew the rod.
>>
>> Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
>> Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

ROTFL!!! No wonder she's an ex.


On Fri, 10 Oct 2003 17:04:45 GMT, Lon Stowell <LonDot.Stowell@ComcastPeriod.Net>
wrote:
>> Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]
>>
>> 1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
>> manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
>> *over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
>> in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
>> differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
>> holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.
>>
>> 2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
>> off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
>> To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
>> and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
>> two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
>> into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
>> friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
>> do you have under the hood of that thing..."
>>
>> 3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
>> turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
>> are being fixed. Get call at work:
>>
>> Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.
>>
>> Me: What were you doing this time?
>>
>> Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
>> show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.
>>
>> Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.
>>
>> Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
>> doesn't run too evenly.
>>
>> Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]
>>
>> Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
>> a piston before it blew the rod.
>>
>> Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
>> Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.