Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

I'm pretty lucky. My wife does her own minor maintenance (plugs, wires, oil,
etc). When she calls me about her vehicle - I get worried.

ever put a fizzie in a Pepsi????

--
Carlo F. Serusa, Jr. RPh
carlo.jr at comcast.net
'98 Sahara TJ - '89 YJ - '79 Scout II
O|||||||O
'92 Explorer '65 Mustang


"Jeepers" <moomesa@INVALIDfnbnet.net> wrote in message
news:moomesa-556A80.09001910102003@corp.newsfeeds.com...
> In article <3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net>,
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote:
>
> > Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> > complete mechanical retardation.
>
> My wife called me yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart to tell me she was
> stuck in our driveway in her new YJ. I asked if she had put it in 4
> wheel drive, she said no, that she didn't know how. My fault, I guess,
> for not showing her the extra shifter next to her leg, labled 4wd. She
> made it.
>
>
> -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
> http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
> -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

I'm pretty lucky. My wife does her own minor maintenance (plugs, wires, oil,
etc). When she calls me about her vehicle - I get worried.

ever put a fizzie in a Pepsi????

--
Carlo F. Serusa, Jr. RPh
carlo.jr at comcast.net
'98 Sahara TJ - '89 YJ - '79 Scout II
O|||||||O
'92 Explorer '65 Mustang


"Jeepers" <moomesa@INVALIDfnbnet.net> wrote in message
news:moomesa-556A80.09001910102003@corp.newsfeeds.com...
> In article <3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net>,
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote:
>
> > Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> > complete mechanical retardation.
>
> My wife called me yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart to tell me she was
> stuck in our driveway in her new YJ. I asked if she had put it in 4
> wheel drive, she said no, that she didn't know how. My fault, I guess,
> for not showing her the extra shifter next to her leg, labled 4wd. She
> made it.
>
>
> -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
> http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
> -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

Approximately 10/10/03 07:00, Jeepers uttered for posterity:

> In article <3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net>,
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote:
>
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> My wife called me yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart to tell me she was
> stuck in our driveway in her new YJ. I asked if she had put it in 4
> wheel drive, she said no, that she didn't know how. My fault, I guess,
> for not showing her the extra shifter next to her leg, labled 4wd. She
> made it.

Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]

1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
*over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.

2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
do you have under the hood of that thing..."

3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
are being fixed. Get call at work:

Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.

Me: What were you doing this time?

Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.

Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.

Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
doesn't run too evenly.

Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]

Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
a piston before it blew the rod.

Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.


--
My governor can kick your governor's ass

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

Approximately 10/10/03 07:00, Jeepers uttered for posterity:

> In article <3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net>,
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote:
>
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> My wife called me yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart to tell me she was
> stuck in our driveway in her new YJ. I asked if she had put it in 4
> wheel drive, she said no, that she didn't know how. My fault, I guess,
> for not showing her the extra shifter next to her leg, labled 4wd. She
> made it.

Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]

1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
*over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.

2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
do you have under the hood of that thing..."

3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
are being fixed. Get call at work:

Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.

Me: What were you doing this time?

Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.

Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.

Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
doesn't run too evenly.

Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]

Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
a piston before it blew the rod.

Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.


--
My governor can kick your governor's ass

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

Approximately 10/10/03 07:00, Jeepers uttered for posterity:

> In article <3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net>,
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote:
>
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> My wife called me yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart to tell me she was
> stuck in our driveway in her new YJ. I asked if she had put it in 4
> wheel drive, she said no, that she didn't know how. My fault, I guess,
> for not showing her the extra shifter next to her leg, labled 4wd. She
> made it.

Ex-missus escapades: [guess why she is "ex"]

1. With a set of chains on a 466 cu/12.5:1 rodded '66 Impala,
manages to park on a slight downhill by running the front tires
*over* the parking curb barrier. Tries to recover by putting
in reverse and stepping on it... with full locker rear
differential. The Sears folks were not amused by the twin
holes dug thru their parking lot asphalt pavement.

2. Same hopped up Impala. Slides on ice and ends up just slightly
off road. Nothing really damaged on car or any property.
To get back on road, sticks the thing in first gear
and floorboards it. Car lunges across road, taking out
two mailboxes and a telephone pole--plus stuffs the radiator
into the front of the engine. Wife too scared to call, so
friendly cop does. Cop's first question: "What in *hell*
do you have under the hood of that thing..."

3. Let the little fluff head borrow my other hot rod, a tuned up
turbo Corvair Corsa while the body and radiator of the Chev
are being fixed. Get call at work:

Fluff: The Corvair is making a funny noise.

Me: What were you doing this time?

Fluff: This guy in a Firebird annoyed me, so I was trying to
show him this Corvair can beat his screaming buzzard.

Me: What kind of noises, please tell me not a knocka knocka.

Fluff: More like a knocka whoosh, knocka whoosh, and it
doesn't run too evenly.

Me: [sniff, boo hoo, why *ME*?]

Somehow had managed to blow a hole right thru the top of
a piston before it blew the rod.

Bought her a Vega and started looking for divorce lawyers.
Never did let her have the keys to the Porsche.


--
My governor can kick your governor's ass

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

It's a genetic trait that all women share.

Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?




"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> My day in a nutshell...
>
> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
phone
> at home)
>
> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
and
> this black thing flew off when I washed it."
>
> Me: "aye?!"
>
> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> sprinkler on it"
>
> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
have
> no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad idea
> in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> instruments?)
>
> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
needed
> oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light went
> off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> anything. Can you come help me?"
>
> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
>
> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
sand
> boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
did
> she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil pan
> is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said she
> put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> everything was completely coated.
>
> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going to
> need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
>
> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider miles
> soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
the
> ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
mechanical
> debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument oil
> pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
well,
> more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
in
> the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
the
> air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the "nice
> guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running, spewing
> the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check and
> add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not even
> going to try to explain that to her.)
>
> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> motor up.
> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
>
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

It's a genetic trait that all women share.

Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?




"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> My day in a nutshell...
>
> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
phone
> at home)
>
> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
and
> this black thing flew off when I washed it."
>
> Me: "aye?!"
>
> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> sprinkler on it"
>
> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
have
> no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad idea
> in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> instruments?)
>
> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
needed
> oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light went
> off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> anything. Can you come help me?"
>
> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
>
> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
sand
> boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
did
> she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil pan
> is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said she
> put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> everything was completely coated.
>
> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going to
> need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
>
> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider miles
> soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
the
> ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
mechanical
> debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument oil
> pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
well,
> more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
in
> the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
the
> air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the "nice
> guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running, spewing
> the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check and
> add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not even
> going to try to explain that to her.)
>
> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> motor up.
> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
>
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

It's a genetic trait that all women share.

Did you manage to save any of that fresh new oil for future oil changes?




"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> My day in a nutshell...
>
> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
> say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the
phone
> at home)
>
> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash
and
> this black thing flew off when I washed it."
>
> Me: "aye?!"
>
> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
> sprinkler on it"
>
> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I
have
> no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad idea
> in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
> instruments?)
>
> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
needed
> oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
> way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light went
> off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
> anything. Can you come help me?"
>
> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
>
> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a
sand
> boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how
did
> she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil pan
> is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said she
> put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
> sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
> everything was completely coated.
>
> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going to
> need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
>
> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider miles
> soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking
the
> ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest
mechanical
> debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument oil
> pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken,
well,
> more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
> separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts
in
> the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
the
> air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
> contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the "nice
> guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running, spewing
> the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check and
> add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not even
> going to try to explain that to her.)
>
> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
> motor up.
> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
>
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
>
>
>
>

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

>> My day in a nutshell...
>>
>> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye"
>> I say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer
>> the phone at home)
>>
>> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car
>> wash and this black thing flew off when I washed it."
>>
>> Me: "aye?!"
>>
>> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
>> sprinkler on it"
>>
>> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about,
>> I have no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not
>> be a bad idea in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any
>> sprinklers on your instruments?)
>>
>> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
>> needed oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a
>> watering tin in a way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of
>> change before the light went off. then it started smoking really bad
>> and stopped, now it won't do anything. Can you come help me?"
>>
>> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
>>
>> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as
>> a sand boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to
>> myself just how did she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?!
>> No holes in block, oil pan is in one piece, and plug is in it. What
>> could she have done? She said she put the oil the plug marked
>> "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she sprayed a few bottles
>> of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure everything was
>> completely coated.
>>
>> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was
>> going to need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this
>> one.
>>
>> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
>> miles soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping
>> about liking the ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to
>> solve the newest mechanical debacle I found the "black thing" was a
>> rubber boot for the instrument oil pressure sender taking flight
>> from the wire. The connector was broken, well, more like torn off,
>> from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a separate sensor)
>> and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in the
>> motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
>> the air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the
>> whole contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was
>> from the "nice guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the
>> engine running, spewing the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered
>> the manual said to check and add oil with the engine running in park
>> (yes, I know... but I am not even going to try to explain that to
>> her.)
>>
>> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked
>> the motor up.
>> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
>>
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2
>> bubbles cause complete mechanical retardation.



I know this isn't funny, but yet it's funny. Hopefully the engine is OK, and
you should go slap the nice guy at the parts store. I would let your wife
check my oil before I would let some of the auto parts counter workers check
my oil.

Chris

Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
 

>> My day in a nutshell...
>>
>> the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye"
>> I say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer
>> the phone at home)
>>
>> "I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car
>> wash and this black thing flew off when I washed it."
>>
>> Me: "aye?!"
>>
>> "then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
>> sprinkler on it"
>>
>> Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about,
>> I have no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not
>> be a bad idea in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any
>> sprinklers on your instruments?)
>>
>> "I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I
>> needed oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a
>> watering tin in a way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of
>> change before the light went off. then it started smoking really bad
>> and stopped, now it won't do anything. Can you come help me?"
>>
>> Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
>>
>> Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as
>> a sand boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to
>> myself just how did she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?!
>> No holes in block, oil pan is in one piece, and plug is in it. What
>> could she have done? She said she put the oil the plug marked
>> "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she sprayed a few bottles
>> of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure everything was
>> completely coated.
>>
>> I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was
>> going to need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this
>> one.
>>
>> the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider
>> miles soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping
>> about liking the ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to
>> solve the newest mechanical debacle I found the "black thing" was a
>> rubber boot for the instrument oil pressure sender taking flight
>> from the wire. The connector was broken, well, more like torn off,
>> from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a separate sensor)
>> and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in the
>> motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into
>> the air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the
>> whole contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was
>> from the "nice guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the
>> engine running, spewing the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered
>> the manual said to check and add oil with the engine running in park
>> (yes, I know... but I am not even going to try to explain that to
>> her.)
>>
>> Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked
>> the motor up.
>> Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
>>
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2
>> bubbles cause complete mechanical retardation.



I know this isn't funny, but yet it's funny. Hopefully the engine is OK, and
you should go slap the nice guy at the parts store. I would let your wife
check my oil before I would let some of the auto parts counter workers check
my oil.

Chris