OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
10-09-2003, 11:38 PM
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
My day in a nutshell...
the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the phone
at home)
"I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash and
this black thing flew off when I washed it."
Me: "aye?!"
"then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
sprinkler on it"
Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I have
no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad idea
in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
instruments?)
"I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I needed
oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light went
off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
anything. Can you come help me?"
Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a sand
boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how did
she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil pan
is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said she
put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
everything was completely coated.
I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going to
need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider miles
soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking the
ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest mechanical
debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument oil
pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken, well,
more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in
the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into the
air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the "nice
guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running, spewing
the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check and
add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not even
going to try to explain that to her.)
Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
motor up.
Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
complete mechanical retardation.
the phone rings... my wife frantic, says: "Is that you Angus?" "Aye" I
say... (wondering just what other Scotsman she expects to answer the phone
at home)
"I broke my car again" (again IS very fitting) " I went to the car wash and
this black thing flew off when I washed it."
Me: "aye?!"
"then when I left there was a red light on, it was the one with the
sprinkler on it"
Me: "aye??" (wondering just which bloody light she is talking about, I have
no memory of any sprinkler on the indicators, but it may not be a bad idea
in her case. Now, truthfully, have YOU seen any sprinklers on your
instruments?)
"I stopped by tom thumb (a local low budget 7-11) and the boy said I needed
oil. (Ah! the oil can... I guess it could look like a watering tin in a
way...) "I put some oil in, but I ran out of change before the light went
off. then it started smoking really bad and stopped, now it won't do
anything. Can you come help me?"
Me: "Aye, ah'm coming" (click of phone hang-up)
Drive 45 miles to town, find her sitting in her Mitsubishi, happy as a sand
boy, bonnet up, oil under it... LOTS of oil! thinking to myself just how did
she manage to goose the damn thing again?!?!?! No holes in block, oil pan
is in one piece, and plug is in it. What could she have done? She said she
put the oil the plug marked "engine oil". Hmmmmmm.... It looked like she
sprayed a few bottles of 10-30 all about the engine just to be sure
everything was completely coated.
I pulled the dipstick out, and oil GUSHED out. I could see I was going to
need a few bellywashers to take even begin to solve this one.
the 3000 got a tow home... again. (should be getting frequent rider miles
soon, I had to listen to the wrecker driver's gob flapping about liking the
ride in the country.) After an hour of trying to solve the newest mechanical
debacle I found the "black thing" was a rubber boot for the instrument oil
pressure sender taking flight from the wire. The connector was broken, well,
more like torn off, from a shot of the pressure hose. (the ECM uses a
separate sensor) and she had enough "loose change" to put over 10 quarts in
the motor! (on top of the normal 5) it finally filled the case, and into the
air box, drowning the motor in it's own juice. and causing the whole
contraption to come to a smoking halt. The oil all over was from the "nice
guy" at tom thumb helping her add oil... with the engine running, spewing
the stuff everywhere. Somehow she remembered the manual said to check and
add oil with the engine running in park (yes, I know... but I am not even
going to try to explain that to her.)
Once the motor stopped the oil seeped into the cylinders, and locked the
motor up.
Somehow the seals survived, at least so far.
Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
complete mechanical retardation.
10-10-2003, 12:57 AM
#2
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
....
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
__
Steve
..
10-10-2003, 12:57 AM
#3
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
....
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
__
Steve
..
10-10-2003, 12:57 AM
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
"4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
....
> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles
cause
> complete mechanical retardation.
I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
__
Steve
..
10-10-2003, 01:06 AM
#5
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
Stephen Cowell did pass the time by typing:
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
10-10-2003, 01:06 AM
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
Stephen Cowell did pass the time by typing:
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
10-10-2003, 01:06 AM
#7
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
Stephen Cowell did pass the time by typing:
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
> "4nik8OR" <chesshire_cat@nospam.net> wrote in message
> news:3f862999$1_1@newspeer2.tds.net...
> ...
>> Some days I think she eats fizzies for breakfast, and the CO2 bubbles cause
>> complete mechanical retardation.
>
> I remember fizzies! I liked the root beer flavor... especially
> made in one of those aluminum tumblers. Electric!
>
> Don't be too hard on the trouble and strife... she's
> worth a debacle or two, I'm sure. Please keep
> relating them to us! Worth the price of admission.
....mental note...
Never read ramjw after returning from the pub.
I.. can't... breathe....
laughing... tooo.... loud...
Sides hurting...
Glad to hear your vehicle is mostly ok.
--
DougW
10-10-2003, 01:13 AM
#8
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
My girlfriend had a P.O.S. ford ranger when i met her.
She said it never needed oil, but it always did when I checked, I discovered
she checked it with the engine running.
She had 5 junker cars blow up on her. Duh!
I fixed up a nice BMW for her, and spent more time teaching her to be
paranoid about maintenance than the finer points of mountain driving. That
paid off, I had to go 85 miles to check what i thought would be a failed
alternator, discovered the rubber mounts for the alt failed and it threw all
belts. If I had let her have a local gas station monkey fix it, she would
have had the symptom fixed but not the cause, and still might not have made
it home.
--
Paul Calman, Hathaway Pines, California
10-10-2003, 01:13 AM
#9
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
My girlfriend had a P.O.S. ford ranger when i met her.
She said it never needed oil, but it always did when I checked, I discovered
she checked it with the engine running.
She had 5 junker cars blow up on her. Duh!
I fixed up a nice BMW for her, and spent more time teaching her to be
paranoid about maintenance than the finer points of mountain driving. That
paid off, I had to go 85 miles to check what i thought would be a failed
alternator, discovered the rubber mounts for the alt failed and it threw all
belts. If I had let her have a local gas station monkey fix it, she would
have had the symptom fixed but not the cause, and still might not have made
it home.
--
Paul Calman, Hathaway Pines, California
10-10-2003, 01:13 AM
#10
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: OT my wife's ability to destroy automobiles
My girlfriend had a P.O.S. ford ranger when i met her.
She said it never needed oil, but it always did when I checked, I discovered
she checked it with the engine running.
She had 5 junker cars blow up on her. Duh!
I fixed up a nice BMW for her, and spent more time teaching her to be
paranoid about maintenance than the finer points of mountain driving. That
paid off, I had to go 85 miles to check what i thought would be a failed
alternator, discovered the rubber mounts for the alt failed and it threw all
belts. If I had let her have a local gas station monkey fix it, she would
have had the symptom fixed but not the cause, and still might not have made
it home.
--
Paul Calman, Hathaway Pines, California