Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:06 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:nn0e939r9hsrninag7dcfvehudfn1i7g3v@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>
Speech patterns offer window into psychiatric disorders
It's a scene typical of daytime talk shows, America's showcase for
dysfunctional living. The woman who fell for her jailed pen pal is
talking at length with no obvious purpose. The host prods for details
of the romance, but every answer is exasperatingly vague. "I just love
him. He's so nice to me. I like to get his letters. I like to see the
mailman."

Shows like this might not seem intellectually stimulating, but listen
closely to those arguments, taunts and teary confessions and you might
hear a perfect illustration of a breakthrough in psychiatry. School of
Medicine researchers have discovered that people with certain
psychiatric disorders also have distinctive language patterns that
seem to reflect fundamental problems in thinking. The speakers use
vague words and usually meander through conversations as if unable to
focus on the main point.

These odd speech patterns, common on daytime talk shows, provide
direct evidence that many people with antisocial personality disorder
and somatization disorder (once called hysteria) also have imbalances
in the brain.

"Psychiatrists suspect these disorders are linked to brain chemistry,
but it hasn't been proven," said Carol North, M.D., an associate
professor of psychiatry and lead author of a paper in a recent issue
of Comprehensive Psychiatry. "This study is one of the first to link
the disorders to the functioning of the brain."

People with somatization disorder, almost always women, have
never-ending complaints -- ranging from vomiting to paralysis --that
can't be linked to physical illness. People with antisocial
personality disorder might lie, steal and commit vandalism in
childhood and progress to more serious offenses such as burglary and
dealing drugs. Both disorders also seem to encourage poor decisions in
friends, mates and lifestyles. A woman who marries a known wife-beater
may well have one of the disorders, North said.

One or both of these disorders afflict about 8 million Americans -- 3
percent of the population. Both tend to run in families, and men with
antisocial personality disorder often have female relatives with
somatization disorder and vice versa.

Researchers compared the speech of 15 men and women diagnosed with one
or both disorders with 10 men and women of similar ages and
backgrounds who worked at a medical clinic. All of the subjects were
interviewed about topics such as the weather and news of the day.
North played audiotapes of the interviews to psychiatrists who didn't
know the subjects or their mental-health status.

She trained the psychiatrists to keep score of different speech
patterns, including vagueness and meandering sentences. A subject
would earn "vague points" by saying something like "Clinton's a good
guy. He does good things." If asked about the weather, a meanderer
might mention his dog, his breakfast and his dentist before getting to
the humidity.

The scorekeepers were able to see many real-life examples of these
speech patterns before the study began. They all watched and listened
to daytime talk shows as part of their preparation.

Women in the study showed strong differences in speech. Those with
either antisocial disorder or somatization disorder were much more
likely to use vague or meandering language. These language patterns
were even more pronounced in women with both disorders.

The scorekeepers found no difference in speech patterns among the men
in the study, and there was a good reason why. The men in the control
group showed strong signs of antisocial personality disorder
themselves, and two out of the five were actually diagnosed. "We still
suspect that men with antisocial personality disorder do speak
differently than other men," North said.

Malfunctioning mind Researchers have long known that brain imbalances
can alter language. People with psychoses such as schizophrenia may
sound as though their sentences have been run through a blender. The
jumbled speech, sometimes called "word salad" at its most extreme,
clearly reflects problems with brain chemistry and thinking. North
believes vague, wandering speech also indicates a malfunctioning mind,
and she coined the term "nonpsychotic thought disorder" to describe
the distinct language patterns of people with antisocial personality
and somatization disorders. It is the first time that anyone has
formally linked unusual thought processes to nonpsychotic psychiatric
disorders.
"Dr. North has made a real contribution to the field," said Richard
Wetzel, Ph.D., professor of neurology, of neurological surgery and of
psychiatry and co-author of the study. "These are people who think
things through in ways that aren't very helpful to themselves or
society, and Dr. North has found a way to identify the kinds of
problems they have with their thinking."

North and Wetzel hope the recognition of distinct speech patterns will
help mental health specialists diagnose personality and somatization
disorders. Too many people with the disorders are either labeled
psychotic or aren't diagnosed at all, North said.

Paying attention to the speech of these people might even lead to
better treatment, she added.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:06 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:nn0e939r9hsrninag7dcfvehudfn1i7g3v@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>
Speech patterns offer window into psychiatric disorders
It's a scene typical of daytime talk shows, America's showcase for
dysfunctional living. The woman who fell for her jailed pen pal is
talking at length with no obvious purpose. The host prods for details
of the romance, but every answer is exasperatingly vague. "I just love
him. He's so nice to me. I like to get his letters. I like to see the
mailman."

Shows like this might not seem intellectually stimulating, but listen
closely to those arguments, taunts and teary confessions and you might
hear a perfect illustration of a breakthrough in psychiatry. School of
Medicine researchers have discovered that people with certain
psychiatric disorders also have distinctive language patterns that
seem to reflect fundamental problems in thinking. The speakers use
vague words and usually meander through conversations as if unable to
focus on the main point.

These odd speech patterns, common on daytime talk shows, provide
direct evidence that many people with antisocial personality disorder
and somatization disorder (once called hysteria) also have imbalances
in the brain.

"Psychiatrists suspect these disorders are linked to brain chemistry,
but it hasn't been proven," said Carol North, M.D., an associate
professor of psychiatry and lead author of a paper in a recent issue
of Comprehensive Psychiatry. "This study is one of the first to link
the disorders to the functioning of the brain."

People with somatization disorder, almost always women, have
never-ending complaints -- ranging from vomiting to paralysis --that
can't be linked to physical illness. People with antisocial
personality disorder might lie, steal and commit vandalism in
childhood and progress to more serious offenses such as burglary and
dealing drugs. Both disorders also seem to encourage poor decisions in
friends, mates and lifestyles. A woman who marries a known wife-beater
may well have one of the disorders, North said.

One or both of these disorders afflict about 8 million Americans -- 3
percent of the population. Both tend to run in families, and men with
antisocial personality disorder often have female relatives with
somatization disorder and vice versa.

Researchers compared the speech of 15 men and women diagnosed with one
or both disorders with 10 men and women of similar ages and
backgrounds who worked at a medical clinic. All of the subjects were
interviewed about topics such as the weather and news of the day.
North played audiotapes of the interviews to psychiatrists who didn't
know the subjects or their mental-health status.

She trained the psychiatrists to keep score of different speech
patterns, including vagueness and meandering sentences. A subject
would earn "vague points" by saying something like "Clinton's a good
guy. He does good things." If asked about the weather, a meanderer
might mention his dog, his breakfast and his dentist before getting to
the humidity.

The scorekeepers were able to see many real-life examples of these
speech patterns before the study began. They all watched and listened
to daytime talk shows as part of their preparation.

Women in the study showed strong differences in speech. Those with
either antisocial disorder or somatization disorder were much more
likely to use vague or meandering language. These language patterns
were even more pronounced in women with both disorders.

The scorekeepers found no difference in speech patterns among the men
in the study, and there was a good reason why. The men in the control
group showed strong signs of antisocial personality disorder
themselves, and two out of the five were actually diagnosed. "We still
suspect that men with antisocial personality disorder do speak
differently than other men," North said.

Malfunctioning mind Researchers have long known that brain imbalances
can alter language. People with psychoses such as schizophrenia may
sound as though their sentences have been run through a blender. The
jumbled speech, sometimes called "word salad" at its most extreme,
clearly reflects problems with brain chemistry and thinking. North
believes vague, wandering speech also indicates a malfunctioning mind,
and she coined the term "nonpsychotic thought disorder" to describe
the distinct language patterns of people with antisocial personality
and somatization disorders. It is the first time that anyone has
formally linked unusual thought processes to nonpsychotic psychiatric
disorders.
"Dr. North has made a real contribution to the field," said Richard
Wetzel, Ph.D., professor of neurology, of neurological surgery and of
psychiatry and co-author of the study. "These are people who think
things through in ways that aren't very helpful to themselves or
society, and Dr. North has found a way to identify the kinds of
problems they have with their thinking."

North and Wetzel hope the recognition of distinct speech patterns will
help mental health specialists diagnose personality and somatization
disorders. Too many people with the disorders are either labeled
psychotic or aren't diagnosed at all, North said.

Paying attention to the speech of these people might even lead to
better treatment, she added.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:06 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:nn0e939r9hsrninag7dcfvehudfn1i7g3v@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>
Speech patterns offer window into psychiatric disorders
It's a scene typical of daytime talk shows, America's showcase for
dysfunctional living. The woman who fell for her jailed pen pal is
talking at length with no obvious purpose. The host prods for details
of the romance, but every answer is exasperatingly vague. "I just love
him. He's so nice to me. I like to get his letters. I like to see the
mailman."

Shows like this might not seem intellectually stimulating, but listen
closely to those arguments, taunts and teary confessions and you might
hear a perfect illustration of a breakthrough in psychiatry. School of
Medicine researchers have discovered that people with certain
psychiatric disorders also have distinctive language patterns that
seem to reflect fundamental problems in thinking. The speakers use
vague words and usually meander through conversations as if unable to
focus on the main point.

These odd speech patterns, common on daytime talk shows, provide
direct evidence that many people with antisocial personality disorder
and somatization disorder (once called hysteria) also have imbalances
in the brain.

"Psychiatrists suspect these disorders are linked to brain chemistry,
but it hasn't been proven," said Carol North, M.D., an associate
professor of psychiatry and lead author of a paper in a recent issue
of Comprehensive Psychiatry. "This study is one of the first to link
the disorders to the functioning of the brain."

People with somatization disorder, almost always women, have
never-ending complaints -- ranging from vomiting to paralysis --that
can't be linked to physical illness. People with antisocial
personality disorder might lie, steal and commit vandalism in
childhood and progress to more serious offenses such as burglary and
dealing drugs. Both disorders also seem to encourage poor decisions in
friends, mates and lifestyles. A woman who marries a known wife-beater
may well have one of the disorders, North said.

One or both of these disorders afflict about 8 million Americans -- 3
percent of the population. Both tend to run in families, and men with
antisocial personality disorder often have female relatives with
somatization disorder and vice versa.

Researchers compared the speech of 15 men and women diagnosed with one
or both disorders with 10 men and women of similar ages and
backgrounds who worked at a medical clinic. All of the subjects were
interviewed about topics such as the weather and news of the day.
North played audiotapes of the interviews to psychiatrists who didn't
know the subjects or their mental-health status.

She trained the psychiatrists to keep score of different speech
patterns, including vagueness and meandering sentences. A subject
would earn "vague points" by saying something like "Clinton's a good
guy. He does good things." If asked about the weather, a meanderer
might mention his dog, his breakfast and his dentist before getting to
the humidity.

The scorekeepers were able to see many real-life examples of these
speech patterns before the study began. They all watched and listened
to daytime talk shows as part of their preparation.

Women in the study showed strong differences in speech. Those with
either antisocial disorder or somatization disorder were much more
likely to use vague or meandering language. These language patterns
were even more pronounced in women with both disorders.

The scorekeepers found no difference in speech patterns among the men
in the study, and there was a good reason why. The men in the control
group showed strong signs of antisocial personality disorder
themselves, and two out of the five were actually diagnosed. "We still
suspect that men with antisocial personality disorder do speak
differently than other men," North said.

Malfunctioning mind Researchers have long known that brain imbalances
can alter language. People with psychoses such as schizophrenia may
sound as though their sentences have been run through a blender. The
jumbled speech, sometimes called "word salad" at its most extreme,
clearly reflects problems with brain chemistry and thinking. North
believes vague, wandering speech also indicates a malfunctioning mind,
and she coined the term "nonpsychotic thought disorder" to describe
the distinct language patterns of people with antisocial personality
and somatization disorders. It is the first time that anyone has
formally linked unusual thought processes to nonpsychotic psychiatric
disorders.
"Dr. North has made a real contribution to the field," said Richard
Wetzel, Ph.D., professor of neurology, of neurological surgery and of
psychiatry and co-author of the study. "These are people who think
things through in ways that aren't very helpful to themselves or
society, and Dr. North has found a way to identify the kinds of
problems they have with their thinking."

North and Wetzel hope the recognition of distinct speech patterns will
help mental health specialists diagnose personality and somatization
disorders. Too many people with the disorders are either labeled
psychotic or aren't diagnosed at all, North said.

Paying attention to the speech of these people might even lead to
better treatment, she added.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:19 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:5o0e93pv7iigk7hi6knfp7a1fvo0iemse9@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:19 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:5o0e93pv7iigk7hi6knfp7a1fvo0iemse9@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:19 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:5o0e93pv7iigk7hi6knfp7a1fvo0iemse9@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

Re: My comment about AOL e-mail
 

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:19 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:5o0e93pv7iigk7hi6knfp7a1fvo0iemse9@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.