L.W. \(Bill\) Hughes III

"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
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><Wrote nothing as usual.>



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L.W. \(Bill\) Hughes III

"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
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><Wrote nothing as usual.>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

L.W. \(Bill\) Hughes III

"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
news:jo0e935qo1qkmcjpcdu77nubbdipnt3g9o@4ax.com...
><Wrote nothing as usual.>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

L.W. \(Bill\) Hughes III

"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
news:jo0e935qo1qkmcjpcdu77nubbdipnt3g9o@4ax.com...
><Wrote nothing as usual.>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

L.W. \(Bill\) Hughes III

"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
news:jo0e935qo1qkmcjpcdu77nubbdipnt3g9o@4ax.com...
><Wrote nothing as usual.>



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

24Bit®

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:48 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:gl0e935kcvv4mk2smuf29l76duupodqbhl@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their *** looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

24Bit®

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:48 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:gl0e935kcvv4mk2smuf29l76duupodqbhl@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their *** looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

24Bit®

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:48 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:gl0e935kcvv4mk2smuf29l76duupodqbhl@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their *** looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

24Bit®

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:48 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:gl0e935kcvv4mk2smuf29l76duupodqbhl@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their *** looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

24Bit®

On Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:04:36 -0700, "L.W. \(Bill\) ------ III"
<LWBill------@------.net> wrote:

>"24Bit®" <24Bit@Ur.Asylum.org> wrote in message
>news:t21e931ep08cb9nvtf3mhrfqjqoo9gpv7c@4ax.com.. .
>><Wrote nothing as usual.>


Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation


1.There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional
manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around.
Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It
makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I
should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the
moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I
should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at
this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you
are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they
really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the
words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or
you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all
circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t
capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels
like --------. If it feels like -------- - it probably is. Rule number
one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST
your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver
- it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this
----.

2.An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you
ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF
they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" -
they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to
be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever -
they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they
wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making
- which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule
number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they
don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their
theater.

3.Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not
say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you
should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are
beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional
manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things
around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can
lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it
white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very
senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can
literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation
is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional
manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making
notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just
are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their
words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that
having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be
seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first
place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’
-------- meter should be flashing steady by now!

4.Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can
make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being
emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for
not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt
with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express
their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around
and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try
to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and
note the -------- meter once again.

5.Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things
directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put
others in the position of telling you what they would not say
themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways
of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell
you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off
---- to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to
school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are
sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying
the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie"
is sitting on their *** looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on
such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to
just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or
choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll
probably wind your butt in jail.

6.If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain
tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has
probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s
hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an
emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing
conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you
call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or
very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are
always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is
not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it.
Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7.Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the
emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator
is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep
instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate
and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel
better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of
loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you
will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much
right to have your needs met.

8.Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no
responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about
what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot
an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish
intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that
is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety.
Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive,
emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say
that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit
bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.