|
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
God, I wish someone else made my BF Goodrich tires!
God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ Jim85CJ wrote: > > and what littel (very little) the UN has tried to do in Sudan, France > opposes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3875277.stm |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
I realize that this is supposed to be a joke, but even jokes should have
some basis in reality. Really, the funniest thing about this is the apparent ignorance of the author. If you are interested in accuracy, see comments below... In article <10hfh4p2gmbmtd1@corp.supernews.com>, "CRWLR" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote: > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT GIVE THE > FOLLOWING SPEECH? > > My Fellow Americans: > > As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has been completed. Since > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in > Iraq is finished. Bush already declared "mission accomplished" over a year ago. Since then, Congress has willingly approved additional funds. Unfortunately, Iraq is now in a state of complete chaos and comprises a much greater threat to US interests then it did before the war. Bush has managed to get us in a quagmire and quagmires and not easily gotten out of. > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now > time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. > > One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side > during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. Actually, Spain has withdrawn from the coalition. Poland just abandoned two provinces in Iraq today and will get out soon. Australia did not participate in the invasion and has very few troops on the ground now. I wonder why such powerhouses as Albania, Angola, Colombia, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and Palau are left off this list? They are all members of the coalition (at least on paper). > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing > copies of both lists later this evening. > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi > war. Ha, ha. Talk about misinformed. For FY 2004, the foreign assistance budget was about $18 billion. The war in Iraq has cost well over $125 billion and will end up costing a lot more. Only Enron's accountant (or Bush's budget analysts) would argue that cutting foreign aid would save enough to pay for the war. Moreover, most of the countries in the coalition are exactly the countries that receive aid. In fact, that is why they are in the coalition. That why it should properly be called the "Coalition of the Billing" rather than "Willing". Although Israel, the largest aid recipient, is not in the coalition. Of course, if Bush cut Israel's funds, he would be out on his butt in a New York minute (not that I like that reality, but it is reality). > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world > hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Actually, a good portion of that money makes its way back to the US to fatten Americans. Ever heard of Halliburton? > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. Good call. France has a more generous aid program. > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money > toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. Great move. > On that note, a word to --------- organizations. Screw with us and we will > hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the > earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe > China. Does this apply to Bin Laden? How come we have 10 times the troops in Iraq than Afghanistan? > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia > for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. Kiss our jeeps good-bye I guess :-( DC is a German company, remember? > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or > watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the > finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his > entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since I will > hav a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around, guess > where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something > with your oil. > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- > starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America > to focus on the welfare of its own citizens. Some will accuse us of > isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the > planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate > homelessness in America. > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought, thanks guys, we owe you and we > won't forget. To the nations on List 2, thanks for nothing. > > God bless America. > > Thank you and good night. > > (If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, > thank a soldier.) This last sentence is non-sensical. The article is in English. In what other language could it be read? |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
I realize that this is supposed to be a joke, but even jokes should have
some basis in reality. Really, the funniest thing about this is the apparent ignorance of the author. If you are interested in accuracy, see comments below... In article <10hfh4p2gmbmtd1@corp.supernews.com>, "CRWLR" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote: > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT GIVE THE > FOLLOWING SPEECH? > > My Fellow Americans: > > As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has been completed. Since > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in > Iraq is finished. Bush already declared "mission accomplished" over a year ago. Since then, Congress has willingly approved additional funds. Unfortunately, Iraq is now in a state of complete chaos and comprises a much greater threat to US interests then it did before the war. Bush has managed to get us in a quagmire and quagmires and not easily gotten out of. > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now > time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. > > One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side > during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. Actually, Spain has withdrawn from the coalition. Poland just abandoned two provinces in Iraq today and will get out soon. Australia did not participate in the invasion and has very few troops on the ground now. I wonder why such powerhouses as Albania, Angola, Colombia, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and Palau are left off this list? They are all members of the coalition (at least on paper). > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing > copies of both lists later this evening. > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi > war. Ha, ha. Talk about misinformed. For FY 2004, the foreign assistance budget was about $18 billion. The war in Iraq has cost well over $125 billion and will end up costing a lot more. Only Enron's accountant (or Bush's budget analysts) would argue that cutting foreign aid would save enough to pay for the war. Moreover, most of the countries in the coalition are exactly the countries that receive aid. In fact, that is why they are in the coalition. That why it should properly be called the "Coalition of the Billing" rather than "Willing". Although Israel, the largest aid recipient, is not in the coalition. Of course, if Bush cut Israel's funds, he would be out on his butt in a New York minute (not that I like that reality, but it is reality). > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world > hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Actually, a good portion of that money makes its way back to the US to fatten Americans. Ever heard of Halliburton? > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. Good call. France has a more generous aid program. > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money > toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. Great move. > On that note, a word to --------- organizations. Screw with us and we will > hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the > earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe > China. Does this apply to Bin Laden? How come we have 10 times the troops in Iraq than Afghanistan? > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia > for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. Kiss our jeeps good-bye I guess :-( DC is a German company, remember? > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or > watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the > finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his > entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since I will > hav a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around, guess > where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something > with your oil. > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- > starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America > to focus on the welfare of its own citizens. Some will accuse us of > isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the > planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate > homelessness in America. > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought, thanks guys, we owe you and we > won't forget. To the nations on List 2, thanks for nothing. > > God bless America. > > Thank you and good night. > > (If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, > thank a soldier.) This last sentence is non-sensical. The article is in English. In what other language could it be read? |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
I realize that this is supposed to be a joke, but even jokes should have
some basis in reality. Really, the funniest thing about this is the apparent ignorance of the author. If you are interested in accuracy, see comments below... In article <10hfh4p2gmbmtd1@corp.supernews.com>, "CRWLR" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote: > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT GIVE THE > FOLLOWING SPEECH? > > My Fellow Americans: > > As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has been completed. Since > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in > Iraq is finished. Bush already declared "mission accomplished" over a year ago. Since then, Congress has willingly approved additional funds. Unfortunately, Iraq is now in a state of complete chaos and comprises a much greater threat to US interests then it did before the war. Bush has managed to get us in a quagmire and quagmires and not easily gotten out of. > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now > time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. > > One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side > during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. Actually, Spain has withdrawn from the coalition. Poland just abandoned two provinces in Iraq today and will get out soon. Australia did not participate in the invasion and has very few troops on the ground now. I wonder why such powerhouses as Albania, Angola, Colombia, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and Palau are left off this list? They are all members of the coalition (at least on paper). > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing > copies of both lists later this evening. > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi > war. Ha, ha. Talk about misinformed. For FY 2004, the foreign assistance budget was about $18 billion. The war in Iraq has cost well over $125 billion and will end up costing a lot more. Only Enron's accountant (or Bush's budget analysts) would argue that cutting foreign aid would save enough to pay for the war. Moreover, most of the countries in the coalition are exactly the countries that receive aid. In fact, that is why they are in the coalition. That why it should properly be called the "Coalition of the Billing" rather than "Willing". Although Israel, the largest aid recipient, is not in the coalition. Of course, if Bush cut Israel's funds, he would be out on his butt in a New York minute (not that I like that reality, but it is reality). > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world > hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Actually, a good portion of that money makes its way back to the US to fatten Americans. Ever heard of Halliburton? > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. Good call. France has a more generous aid program. > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money > toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. Great move. > On that note, a word to --------- organizations. Screw with us and we will > hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the > earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe > China. Does this apply to Bin Laden? How come we have 10 times the troops in Iraq than Afghanistan? > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia > for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. Kiss our jeeps good-bye I guess :-( DC is a German company, remember? > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or > watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the > finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his > entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since I will > hav a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around, guess > where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something > with your oil. > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- > starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America > to focus on the welfare of its own citizens. Some will accuse us of > isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the > planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate > homelessness in America. > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought, thanks guys, we owe you and we > won't forget. To the nations on List 2, thanks for nothing. > > God bless America. > > Thank you and good night. > > (If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, > thank a soldier.) This last sentence is non-sensical. The article is in English. In what other language could it be read? |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
I realize that this is supposed to be a joke, but even jokes should have
some basis in reality. Really, the funniest thing about this is the apparent ignorance of the author. If you are interested in accuracy, see comments below... In article <10hfh4p2gmbmtd1@corp.supernews.com>, "CRWLR" <beerman@yahoo.com> wrote: > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT GIVE THE > FOLLOWING SPEECH? > > My Fellow Americans: > > As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has been completed. Since > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in > Iraq is finished. Bush already declared "mission accomplished" over a year ago. Since then, Congress has willingly approved additional funds. Unfortunately, Iraq is now in a state of complete chaos and comprises a much greater threat to US interests then it did before the war. Bush has managed to get us in a quagmire and quagmires and not easily gotten out of. > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now > time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. > > One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side > during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, > Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. Actually, Spain has withdrawn from the coalition. Poland just abandoned two provinces in Iraq today and will get out soon. Australia did not participate in the invasion and has very few troops on the ground now. I wonder why such powerhouses as Albania, Angola, Colombia, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and Palau are left off this list? They are all members of the coalition (at least on paper). > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing > copies of both lists later this evening. > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi > war. Ha, ha. Talk about misinformed. For FY 2004, the foreign assistance budget was about $18 billion. The war in Iraq has cost well over $125 billion and will end up costing a lot more. Only Enron's accountant (or Bush's budget analysts) would argue that cutting foreign aid would save enough to pay for the war. Moreover, most of the countries in the coalition are exactly the countries that receive aid. In fact, that is why they are in the coalition. That why it should properly be called the "Coalition of the Billing" rather than "Willing". Although Israel, the largest aid recipient, is not in the coalition. Of course, if Bush cut Israel's funds, he would be out on his butt in a New York minute (not that I like that reality, but it is reality). > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world > hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Actually, a good portion of that money makes its way back to the US to fatten Americans. Ever heard of Halliburton? > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. Good call. France has a more generous aid program. > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money > toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. Great move. > On that note, a word to --------- organizations. Screw with us and we will > hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the > earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe > China. Does this apply to Bin Laden? How come we have 10 times the troops in Iraq than Afghanistan? > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia > for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. Kiss our jeeps good-bye I guess :-( DC is a German company, remember? > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps > have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or > watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the > finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his > entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. Since I will > hav a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around, guess > where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something > with your oil. > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- > starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America > to focus on the welfare of its own citizens. Some will accuse us of > isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the > planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate > homelessness in America. > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought, thanks guys, we owe you and we > won't forget. To the nations on List 2, thanks for nothing. > > God bless America. > > Thank you and good night. > > (If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, > thank a soldier.) This last sentence is non-sensical. The article is in English. In what other language could it be read? |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
LMAO
-- HarryS "L.W. (ßill) ------ III" <----------@cox.net> wrote in message news:4117E754.FC8ECC83@cox.net... > God, I wish someone else made my BF Goodrich tires! > God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O > mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ > > Jim85CJ wrote: > > > > and what littel (very little) the UN has tried to do in Sudan, France > > opposes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3875277.stm |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
LMAO
-- HarryS "L.W. (ßill) ------ III" <----------@cox.net> wrote in message news:4117E754.FC8ECC83@cox.net... > God, I wish someone else made my BF Goodrich tires! > God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O > mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ > > Jim85CJ wrote: > > > > and what littel (very little) the UN has tried to do in Sudan, France > > opposes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3875277.stm |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
LMAO
-- HarryS "L.W. (ßill) ------ III" <----------@cox.net> wrote in message news:4117E754.FC8ECC83@cox.net... > God, I wish someone else made my BF Goodrich tires! > God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O > mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ > > Jim85CJ wrote: > > > > and what littel (very little) the UN has tried to do in Sudan, France > > opposes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3875277.stm |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
LMAO
-- HarryS "L.W. (ßill) ------ III" <----------@cox.net> wrote in message news:4117E754.FC8ECC83@cox.net... > God, I wish someone else made my BF Goodrich tires! > God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O > mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ > > Jim85CJ wrote: > > > > and what littel (very little) the UN has tried to do in Sudan, France > > opposes: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3875277.stm |
Re: OT - I just got this in my email and thought I would share
If I were a loser like you I wouldn't sign that crap either!
God Bless America, ßill O|||||||O mailto:-------------------- http://www.----------.com/ Jeff wrote: ><gibberish snipped> |
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